"Cold Is Relative" - Rated G
Only a Montrealer or Ex Montrealer can appreciate this.
(Please remember the temperature here is given in Farenheit)
50 degrees-New Yorkers turn on the heat. People in Montreal plant gardens.
40 degrees-Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Montreal sunbathe.
35 degrees-Italian cars won't start. People in Montreal drive with the
windows down.
32 degrees-Distilled water freezes. Montreal water gets thicker.
20 degrees-Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People
in Montreal throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees-Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Montreal go
swimming.
Zero degrees-New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Montreal have the last cookout before it gets cold.
10 degrees below zero-People in Miami cease to exist. People in Montreal lick flagpoles.
20 degrees below zero-Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Montreal throw on a light jacket.
40 degrees below zero-Hollywood disintegrates. People in Montreal rent videos.
60 degrees below zero-Mt. St. Helens freezes. Montreal Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
80 degrees below zero-Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Montreal Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
100 degrees below zero-Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Montreal pull down their ear flaps.
173 degrees below zero-Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Montreal get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.
297 degrees below zero-Microbial life start to disapear. Quebec cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 degrees below zero-ALL atomic motion stops. People in Montreal start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 degrees below zero-Hell freezes over. Montreal wins the Stanley Cup.
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