Men and women compared


NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for
lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If
Mike, Charlie, Bob
and John go out, they will affectionately refer
to each other as
Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and
John will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None
of them will have
>anything
smaller, and none will actually admit they
want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the
pocket calculators.

MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn't
want.

BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom: a
toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the
Holiday Inn. The average
number of items in the typical woman's bathroom
is 337. A man would
not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning
of a new argument.

CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets
a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he
gets a wife.

SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a
man.

MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change,
but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
change, and she does.

DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the
plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get
the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:
Men wake up as good looking as when they went
to bed.
Women' appearance somehow deteriorates during
the night.

OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her
children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best
friends, favorite foods,
secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people
living in the house.

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