Virus Alerts

Lewinsky Virus:
Sucks all the memory out of your computer,
then e-mails everyone about what it did.

Kenneth Starr Virus:
Competely examines every aspect of your computer,
then compiles a complex report that discredits every
aspect of your computer.

Ronald Reagan Virus:
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson Virus:
Quits after two bytes.
Spits everything out.

Oprah Winfrey Virus:
Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB,
then slowly expands to 200 MB.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus:
Deletes all old files.

Ellen Degeneres Virus:
Disks can no longer be inserted.

Titanic Virus:
Your whole computer goes down.

Disney Virus:
Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

Prozac Virus:
Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

Joey Buttafuoco Virus:
Only attacks minor files.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus:
Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it vill be baaack.

Lorena Bobbit Virus:
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy,
then discards it through Windows.

Viagra Virus:
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

Clinton Virus:
Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory.

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