Chinese tortures
A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon
a small house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient
Chinese man with a long, grey beard.
"I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the ancient Chinese man said, "but on one
condition.
If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict
upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty
old as well and entered the house.
Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,
beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the
young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up
to bed alone. During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck
into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything
quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his
own room, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he
saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read:
"Chinese Torture #1: Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's petty crap," he thought. "If that's the best the
old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the
boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he
did so, he noticed another note on it that read:
"Chinese Torture #2: Rock tied to left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already
getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better
thancastration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As
he plummeted towards the ground, he saw a large sign on the
ground that read:
"Chinese Torture #3: Right testicle tied to bed post."
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