Answering machines
Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world
famous
International Institute of Answering Machine Answers.
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My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave
your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're
not here. So leave a message.
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the
money.
If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid
institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends,
you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of
money.
"Hi. Now you say something."
"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can
talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."
"Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"
(From Japanese friend ) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I
call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.
Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of
these magnets."
"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
messages.
"This is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name,
your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and
I'll think about returning your call."
My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets
are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their
picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and
they will get back to you."
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
"Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our
weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't
home and it's safe to leave us a message.
"Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right
now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up
and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a
message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
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