Quick jokes
Blondes again!!
Two blondes are walking down the street one day when they find a compact on the ground. One of them picks it up, opens it, and looks into the mirror: "hey, this picture kind of looks familiar, " she says.
The other blonde grabs the compact, loks into the mirror, and says, " You idiot, that's me!"
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Golf anyone?
One morning a man is golfing when he meets a woman on the course. He finds her atractive, and he asks her is she'd like to play with him. So they play a round, and she wins by five strokes. Sensing the guy's embarrassment, the woman offers to accompany him to the parking lot and give him a blow job in her car to make him feel better.
For the rest of the week, they play together every morning. The woman wins by five or six strokes each time, then gives the guy a blow job in the parking lot. That weekend he invites her to his house for a romantic dinner.
She arrives and blurts out, "I must confess something to you. I'm a transvestite. I'm really a man"
"You son of a bitch!" the guy replies. "You've been hitting off the women's tees all week!"
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Spoke too soon
An elderly couple are having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. During dessert, the old man leans over and says to his wife, "Dear, there's something I have to ask you? It's always bothered me that our 10th child never quite looked like the rest of the kids. I must know: Did he have a different father from the rest?"
The wife drops her head, unable to look at her husband. "Yes'" she admits. "He does."
Tears well up in the old man's eyes. "Please, " he says, "would you tell me who it was?"
The woman pauses while mustering her courage. Then she says, "You."
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